Friday, February 8, 2008

Hi!, I'm a lesbian.

Hey people. I guess this is my introduction, so I'll start off with my purpose. No, not my life purpose.... the purpose of this blog. Obviously, I am a lesbian, but this is not all that I'll speak about, so if that's what you're looking for, I'm not your girl. But I will tell you this, and it may help, as I know I would want to know, I'm not a nasty man-dyke. It's a little less captivating when you're imagining a 250 pound, vested, lesbian with a mullet and facial hair telling you stories. Who wants to picture that? I sure don't. God, I already have to live with the fact that 70% of the available vagina is attached to one of those burly beasts. My life is sad. Seriously, how come gay men are so handsome and well-dressed, and 70% of lesbians are hetero rejects that no man could love. I guess it works because woman are supposed to be able to love someone for what's on the inside, but sadly, I wasn't born with that kind of empathy. For me, woman are like cars. If it's not sexy on the outside, I couldn't care less about the inside. I'd rather put up with massive amounts of nutty bitchness, than lick on one of those titless waddlers. And I do, as you'll find out.

There's alot more to me other than the fact that I'm gay, and I can tell you that my life will make you laugh. Alot. Not to mention that I'm hilarous. Yeah, I said it. I may change names to protect the obviously retarded. I may not, depending on how much I hate you. We'll just have to see. Also, I maybe should've mentioned this before I started maming people as retarded, but I do tend to be a bit offensive at times. If you have a strong will to defend the unintelligent, protect the innocent, or shield the ignorant- you're not going to like me. But do me a favor, and click an ad on your way out.

With that said, we'll get started. Prepare yourself for insanity, and the most colorfully crazy characters that you would probably never want to meet. If you're reading and realize that you are one of them, I'm very sorry. But know this, you've made a lasting impression on me some how and will NEVER be forgotten. And most likely, neither will any idiotic thing that you've ever done in my presence. Good Day.

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