Part Deux in the Francis series is a lovely story of a week long stay at my friends' grandmothers' house. Grandma went to Florida for a vacation in the winter, as old folks often do, and left us with her house. Surely, she forgot was it was like to be 19 years old, or she wouldn't have made that decision. Nonetheless, it was a good time for us.
This story isn't so much a Francis story as the latter, but it does highlight his insanity once again and I like that.
First off, the house was being kept up by primarily my friend Val, who's grandma owned the house, my friend Carrie, and myself. We did welcome strays and others stayed here and there. There were also lots of people there every night of the week as it was a free-for-all. This was back in my hay-day and weed was our specialty. We were really high. For a week. Well, for 5 years but we'll just talk about this week.
We went out and bought special bongs for the occaision and many a people came by to pack our shiny new water pipes. I don't remember alot of the week, but what is remembered was grand. There was the bedroom with the "GNOMES" which to this day I'm not really sure what they were. Small dolls or trinkets. There must've been thousands of them, and nobody would sleep in that room. Which meant about 5 to 6 girls, on a good night, piling in a full sized bed. The few that were brave enough to chance it never lasted long. I braved the trolls for one night, and woke up in the middle of the night to them all smiling at me. I moved to the couch because I didn't want everyone to know that I was as chicken as them, but I didn't sleep in there again.
There was the snow. And there was alot of it. We must've got 3 feet that week and if you can picture it, 3 really stoned 19 year old girls shoveling 3 feet of never ending snow was a laugh on it's own. It was almost as comical as watching us try to get our cars in the driveway afterward. Picture this... a poorly shoveled driveway with 3 foot walls of snow on each side. The driveway was somewhat elevated which was no good for the likes of our past vehicles. Val's 95 Neon had to be floored from down the street to make it up, not to mention it had to turn into the driveway, on a poorly plowed side street. Once the car was close enough to the driveway, we'd turn the wheel and give it more gas, sending the car plowing into the snow walls, ricocheting off of them all the way to the top. I don't know how the cars survived. Only one was trashed by the end of the week and it wasn't mine.
There was the bathroom faucet incident. I was taking a shower and put my foot on the faucet while I shaved my legs, and it snapped off. Completely. Not only was it embarrassing, I thought Val was going to kill me. Luckily, Carrie's dad is a plumber and came over and gave Grandma some new piping since I broke it off all the way from in the wall. You're welcome Grandma. The embarrassment was bad enough, then I had to face her dad and him making fun of me, and on top of that, had to have a parent in the weed smelled house. It sucked.
Now through all of this fun, I had forgotten about one thing... Francis. He was not happy that I was not having anything to do with him for an entire week. He was also not happy that everyone in the city of Fraser was invited over but him. This did make me feel slightly bad since I met all of these friends through him in the first place. But whatever. Life goes on. Back to the story... Francis was paging me non-stop and of course I would ignore him. I didn't think he knew where to find me, but apparently, he found out from someone because he showed up at the door one day. I was mid-bongtoke and I get the page "ICU". How creepy is that anyways? What a freak. I look outside and he's there, so I call his cell and tell him to go away. He begs for me to talk to him for a few minutes, and after much rejection, I obliged. I went outside and he was being his normal freakish self, whining about how I don't call him back and he doesn't know why I always do this to him. To this day, I still don't know exactly what I was doing to him. It was more like what he was doing to me. It was cold and he somehow talked me into getting into his car, and as soon as I shut the door, he floored it backwards out of the driveway and stole me. My friend Val was standing in the driveway, mouth gaping wide. You would think we would expect this kind of thing, but it was always a shock. Perhaps because we were always high. I'm not sure what Francis's objective was in kidnapping me, because he returned me after about 20 minutes of me screaming at him. I think he just needed to get his fix. What can I say? I am sexy.
About 3 days later, he struck again. This was one of the creepiest things he's ever done in my eyes. It was around noon. Several of the girls were at work or school. Only my friends Val, Michea, and I were home. This time, there was no warning pages, no warning calls to the house. Nothing. We were trying to sleep when we heard a knock at the door. I did a 007 to the front window and see Francis's car in the driveway and quickly run back to the bedroom before I'm spotted. We layed there silently hoping he would just go away, but no. That just doesn't happen. He kept knocking. Sometimes taking breaks to go around the house peaking in windows. Apparently, he was tired of wondering, so he decided to let himself in. We heard him try to open the door, and were deeply saddened when we heard it open. Whoever left last did not lock the door!! We layed in the bed, pretending to still be sleeping. Eyes closed, we listened to Francis walk through the kitchen, down the hallway, and stop right outside the bedrooms' open door. He just stood there for a minute looking at us, then turned around, walked out, shut the door behind him, and began knocking again!! What a freak baby!! Who does that? If he wasn't still a friend, I would report him. Surely.
On our last day at Grandma's, Val and I went out to breakfast then headed back to the house to clean up and remove the bong's from the house. As we turned into the driveway, we saw the Grandparent's car there and the bag with our bong's sitting outside the door. We threw the car into reverse and got the hell out of dodge, but knew we would have to go back. We freaked out for awhile, then decided to face the music. Well, Val had to face the music. I was stoned and just made her go in. She got our stuff, grabbed the bongs from outside, and Grandma has never mentioned it to this day. I'm still waiting for it.
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